


Lucky/Unlucky

by Chairtastic



Category: Last Res0rt (Webcomic)
Genre: Adult Content, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Brutal Murder, Corruption, Cyberpunk, Deadly Game Show, Dismemberment, F/F, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Terrorism, Literally everyone has committed a murder, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major Character Undeath, Minor Character Death, Most of the cast are criminals, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Pov, Nanomachines Son, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pirates, Prison, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Spiral has so many boyfriends, Spiritualism, Talk like a pirate, This fic is explicit because of Geisha, Vampires, color symbolism, so many minor characters, so much neon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23003593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chairtastic/pseuds/Chairtastic
Summary: Condemned cons, death row inmates, bored mercenaries!  The People’s Republic of Celigo has a new program for your consideration!  We are currently in production of a new reality show where cons and volunteers compete against each other, or against mutual foes for fabulous prizes.  For the cons, their prize will be a full pardon… if they survive!  If a bit of blood doesn’t bother you, and you’re raring for the spotlight, consider applying to Last Resort!
Relationships: Adharia/Sedja
Kudos: 1





	1. Yo Ho

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note: This is a work of fiction set in the Last Res0rt world created by Raye Keslensky. It is an unauthorized derivative work inspired by hers, and all the ideas contained within this fic are thus the property of Raye Keslensky. I do not own the Last Res0rt IP, its characters, or its mechanics. I politely ask you not to sue me, and add on that I won’t be suing anyone.

**Last Res0rt: Lucky/Unlucky**

I love alternate universe fics, where you expand the roster of characters in the spotlight or swap them out. I also like expanding on characters who don’t get much spotlight in their source material. So here’s this!  
  


 _Summary_ : Condemned cons, death row inmates, bored mercenaries! The People’s Republic of Celigo has a new program for your consideration! We are currently in the production of a new reality show where cons and volunteers compete against each other, or against mutual foes for fabulous prizes. For the cons, their prize will be a full pardon… if they survive! If a bit of blood doesn’t bother you, and you’re raring for the spotlight, consider applying to Last Resort!

\---

**Chapter 1: Yo Ho**

One of Spiral’s college professors had told him ‘the best revenge was a good life’. After having gotten his revenge, Spiral would correct the statement to: ‘the best revenge is a good life while your enemy burns’. His lawyer sent him regular updates pursuant to that while he served his prison sentence. Wild-E Entertainment, one of the greatest monopolies in the service industry galaxy-wide was being eaten alive by lawsuits, court rulings, and misfortune. If he was allowed it, he’d have drunk some wine to go with the situation.

Captain Spiral Black was a long-term (technically lifelong) guest of Yayeet Penitentiary, a white-collar prison on the planet Vasci, whose moon, Tetorca, was Spiral’s homeworld and the source of all of his enemy’s problems. Compared to the modernized technological marvel that was Vasci, Tetorca was a barely-colonized hole in the galaxy. But if things went well, that wouldn’t always be the case. Wild-E’s resources would soon be too few to keep Tetorca technologically isolated for the sake of their profit.

In prison, the most difficult thing for him was the boredom. If he’d been in a tighter-security prison, things could at least be interesting -- but his lawyer had done her job too well, and gotten him minimum security. There he got to meet a ‘nicer class’ of sophont -- frauds, embezzlers, politicians, tax evaders, the odd cultist, and more. It was like college all over again -- be confined to a building with a multi-species population and do assigned work for seemingly forever.

And like college all over again, he found himself the center of attention for people who had never seen a levriki before. Averaging two meters tall, and similar to Terth’s procyon animals -- ‘raccoons’ -- with fur typically on the violet side of the spectrum and triclopean with their eyes. His status as an ‘educated barbarian’ also encouraged a surge in his popularity among the prisoners. It left him with a lot of pleasurable company and prison alliances as they were pardoned out.

Spiral would have been bored to tears, but otherwise resigned to watch his hated enemy implode from afar, had his lawyer not been a wish-granting fairy in disguise.

One day, when she brought him fresh news about the state of the settlement he had negotiated from Wild-E, and updates about her attempts to get him paroled, she slipped in an extra manilla folder.

It wasn’t every day that a purple and lavender raccoon man in prison clothes got to be excited alongside a massive crocodilian woman with leopard-spotted wings after reading a job posting. They were excited for different things, of course. Spiral was happy to have a possible change of pace, and his lawyer was happy because she would get a finders fee which would set her and her family for life if they signed him. Paperwork was filled out and sent off in less than a beat. 

After that, it was a matter of waiting and rereading the pitch to get into the right headspace for the show.

Spiral was in the midst of doing so while his cellmate, Cape, clung to his bushy tail during their rest period. The cuddler was a talmi banker who had been scapegoated by his employer for a whistleblower’s revelations. Spiral had almost seventy centimeters on the average talmi -- who were cute across the board for their mix of feline and rodent features, marsupial pouches for constant surprises, and massive ears to pick up sounds most species hadn’t the range for. Cape wasn’t used to prison, as Spiral was, and in need of comfort -- but he wasn’t ready for the full treatment yet. So he clung to Spiral’s tail when allowed, and Spiral would scratch between his massive ears every so often.

“If you get on the show,” Cape commented while he had his face buried in Spiral’s tail, “won’t you risk dying?”

“Aye,” Spiral said back in his thick Tetorcan accent. “Such be th’rules fer th’rangement.” The levriki turned his third eye to watch Cape as the banker clung to his tail even more. “Death be me bid’ness, cuddlebug. How y’think I made me money befer me arrest?”

“That’s different, it’s in the past,” Cape muttered. “And those Tetorcan pirate things are all planned out in advance, right?”

Spiral slipped his claws past his fingers to scrape at Cape’s skin through his fur as a warning. The banker flinched and hunched down, afraid to draw his own claws. “Th’fights be planned, but the fighters don’t know they be planned. So, fer th’fighters, they be genuine -- yeah?”

“I guess….” Cape relaxed a bit, and let Spiral return his hand to between his ears. Soon, the fresh meat’s hair would start growing back, but until then Spiral got to enjoy the rare sensation of talmi skull fur. “I don’t… want you to die. You’re the only one who believes me.” Poor lad, didn’t even have his lawyer’s faith.

Spiral gave Cape his full attention for a moment. “Cuddlebug, nobody _wants_ ta die. But death comes fer all souls eventually. Be not afraid of death, and ye will live longer.”

Cape pulled away from Spiral’s tail enough for the pirate to see the confusion on his face. “That doesn’t make sense!” Cape’s feline fur was like an orange tabby cat, and orange was an unlucky color in Tetorcan myths. Perhaps with good advice, Cape would grow past his scapegoat status, or so Spiral wished.

Spiral grinned. “That be because ye just started thinkin’ about it. Mayhaps it be something you try livin’, instead?” Spiral went back to his reading, and his unlucky cuddlebug resumed his cuddling. “Yer sentence be short, cuddlebug. Ten months, and ye free. But iffin’ I want th’same, must be willin’ to take risks.”

“I hope they let us watch you play, then. Don’t get knocked out in the first round or anything.”

Spiral tapped three times on blackened scorch mark he’d made in the wall specifically to ward off jinxes, and hoped his unlucky cuddlebug hadn’t ruined his chances before he got started. “No promises, cuddlebug.”

\--

He received a visit from one of the showrunners a couple months later, given time for their team to sort through the massive number of criminal applicants. They didn’t need any old felons -- they needed criminals whose presence on the show would be entertaining, Spiral knew this. He’d lived that life before. When the time came, Spiral was escorted to a meeting room for felons, with a desk partitioned by transparent titanium sheets, with audio devices so the two halves could talk to one another.

The person who came to visit him in Yayeet was a zillan -- like Spiral’s lawyer -- but one of the Touched, unlike her. Spiral’s lawyer was a full-winged Celeste, her wings an outward manifestation of her spiritual power. The Touched were sort of like half-Celeste. They were still hybrids of two species, but they had smaller wings that didn’t always line up with their backs.

He introduced himself as Damien Vaeo, and his bargaining position was harsh to say the least. “We’re looking to buy you from your current prison and host you in ours. Part of your revised sentence will be the opportunity for a full pardon, provided you survive games that we,” he flared his wings and smirked, “ _I_ cook up for you. You’ll heed reasonable orders, you’ll have an opportunity for better treatment, and you’ll be recorded at all times. Death will be an unavoidable aspect of the show -- someone, somehow, sometime, is going to die. It might be you, and it might not. But if it isn’t -- you go free. Sound like a good deal?”

Spiral let the young man talk and looked him over. Celigan fashions, with zillan add-ons. Pseudo-military, with a trench coat covering most of it so he could go incognito. Spiral glanced downward, smirked, and met Damien’s steely gaze. “Me thanks fer wearin’ something interestin’ underneath, ye don’t see polka dot smallclothes much anymore.”

One of Damien’s wings slumped as he realized what Spiral had just brought up on a recorded conversation. “What?”

“Yer proposal be interestin’, be wantin’ it in writin’ of course -- and a copy mailed to me lawyer for review,” the ‘barbarian’ replied with ease as he slouched in his chair. “But iffin’ what ye say be reflected in th’contract -- I be willin’ to sign.” Spiral watched as Damien tried to recover from his earlier blindsiding and kept on going. “I be experienced in th’art of show bid’ness, iffin’ ye need advice for how to make things interestin’ or to fix problems -- I can help out.” Two of Spiral’s three eyebrows cocked while he smirked. “Fer minor favors, or preferential treatment, of course.”

Damien shook his head to get out of his surprise and scowled. “I’ll acknowledge you did excellent work as an entertainer for Wild-E -- and look where that got them.” He jerked his head in the general direction of Tetorca -- where a fire visible from Vasci raged near Wild-E’s headquarters.

Spiral shrugged. “Mistakes happen, lad. Setbacks happen. Leaks happen. Ye have to have a plan fer if somethin’ gets found out affore it be ready -- and they didn’t. Ye seem smart enough to grasp that, I hope.”

The Touched narrowed his eyes slightly. “Good to know. I’ll make sure the option is listed in the options for compensation. We’ll also need a breakdown of your abilities.”

“Ye don’t be havin’ it already?”

“We have a dossier, which conveniently left out how you were able to make comments about my _underwear_ , so I’d say it’s incomplete.”

“I don’t be supposin’ ye’d buy that ye seem a polka dot sort of person?”

\--

The plaintive look Cape had as Spiral had left Yayeet tugged at Spiral’s heart for longer than it should have. He was a vicious pirate, he was going onto a show with the intent to kill his way to freedom. A corporate dynasty was in the midst of disintegration because of him. Yet one little banker who spent most of his free time deep in Spiral’s fluffy tail had been enough to give him a moment’s regret. The banker would be free as a bird in a month’s time by that point -- and with a lot of good will at his bank for taking the fall.

Maybe he’d visit Spiral -- maybe he’d forget about him.

Spiral didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the pre-show trials were underway as soon as he landed on the station. There were exams, physical tests, esoteric morality questions! All done under neon lights for no discernable reason other than neon was cheap! It was just like college all over again.

However the new prison came with new perks -- such as Star Org guards. The Star Org, for whatever reason, outfitted their station-side personnel with tight-fitting latex suits which almost universally included a seam on the rear to accentuate their glutes -- if they had them. Spiral Black, pirate, terrorist, and board-certified ass man, was most appreciative.

Some of the best butts belonged to his fellow performers on the show. He only met them in bursts -- since the pre-show trials were done in isolation. But he got to meet some of them in the shower.

Such was the case with Geisha and Slick. Geisha wasn’t his real name -- it was a constant reminder of the man’s arrest, where he’d been cross-dressing. He was a kendril -- four-armed snake-person with a split lower jaw for capturing prey, and a number of secondary heads which grew from the first like tentacles. Arrested for serial rape and murder, Geisha was one of the ‘popular’ contestants -- he appeared in promotional material. Specifically, people wanted to see him die _every single kind of dead_ on camera.

Slick was a talmi, taller than Cape, and with solid black fur. He was Cape’s antithesis, conniving, manipulative, with no prospect for escape, and his fur was _the_ lucky color in Tetorcan myths. Word on the cell block was Slick was a mobster arrested after killing his father and bungling the delicate balance of power to remain outside the law. Slick also seemed to earn Geisha’s ‘affection’, for what such a thing was worth.

In prison, the idea of ‘prison bitch’ was a fantasy -- most relationships arose out of convenience or a need for emotional support, such as Cape. Geisha apparently hadn’t gotten the memo. The first time Slick, Geisha, and Spiral had been brought to the showers together portrayed that easily enough.

Spiral arched a brow at how Slick started to try and get _away_ as soon as he saw Geisha, to the point of antagonizing their guards. Geisha made a hissing remark about behaving, and Spiral noted the way he eyed Slick.

It didn’t take a math surgeon to figure out Geisha’s intentions once they were stripped down and released into the showers. More than one of the guards had snickered -- they knew too.

It happened fast. The guards closed the doors behind them, Slick made a break to get as far away from Geisha as he could -- with Geisha in close pursuit. Spiral carefully positioned himself into the path of Geisha’s pursuit of Slick, and solved the problem without violence.

He turned one of the showerheads on one hundred percent hot water to max pressure as Slick passed, and stepped out of the way. As Geisha followed him he was hit with borderline boiling water.

Spiral and Slick left the showers clean and smiling -- Geisha left them on a stretcher.

\--

The first half of the first episode was recorded. And Spiral found himself aware of that after he woke in a medical room with a glitter injection in progress directly into his arm. Aside from some minor surprise spasms, the procedure went off without a hitch. The Star Org doctor made sure his bruises and busted jaw would heal correctly, and left. Spiral was left with his fellow competitor.

Twelve convicts and four volunteers had been divided into four divisions for the first episode. They had been set to compete against each other in the fields of Demolitions, Strength, Sniper, and Scout. Spiral was seeded into the Strength field, and matched against a human vampire, Geisha, and one of the volunteers. Their trial was a wrestling match of sorts -- knock their opponents out of the ring.

Her name was HRH Adharia Kuvoe, a barbarian like Spiral. Her world and her species had not reached the technological level to merit first contact yet -- so she was among the galaxies ‘advanced’ races illegally. She was a vividly pink-furred feline tauric creature, quite beautiful if a person went for that sort of thing.

She was also a trained warrior -- it showed in how she casually trounced the vampire -- Qin Xu -- despite the vampire’s literal centuries of more experience on her. It left Spiral and Geisha to brawl it out.

Geisha had about fifty pounds of muscle more than Spiral. He also had a grudge to settle. It didn’t go well for anyone.

Spiral couldn’t clearly recall how he’d beaten Geisha or how he had lost to Adharia -- from how regal the princess looked, there was no doubt that she’d won. However, once the doctor cleared her for the rest of the show, she stood and walked to meet Spiral, and extended her hand.

“I didn’t expect much from you when I heard you were a pirate. But you fought well -- and I’m appreciative of how you showed me the value of mobility.”

Spiral arched a brow and accepted the handshake. “Beggin’ yer pardon, miss -- but didn’t ye win th’match?”

Adharia tilted her head to the side and made a pained face. “Um. I guess me biting your head led to some memory loss? We tied.”

Spiral blinked with all three of his eyes, then narrowed them at her. “Ye bit me in th’head?”

“Not intentionally!” She shrugged and looked away. “You went to headbutt me right as I was doing a war cry… I had something in my mouth and I just instinctively clamped down.”

Spiral stood and stumbled a bit -- fortunately Adharia offered him a stabilizing hand. “Iffin ye bit me on th’head, how did we tie?”

The doors to the medical chamber opened, and Damien Vaeo stepped through with an annoyed look on his face. “Well, strictly speaking, the rules required you to knock out your opponent, throw them from the ring, or to remain within the confines of the rules while the other person broke them.” He ran his clawed hands down his face, long-suffering. “With her teeth stuck in you, and your hands in a death-grip on her legs, she couldn’t move to throw you out -- and you were still conscious until we got her off you….” He sighed. “Look. We planned for something like this. You both made the rank of Team Captain -- just get presentable and we’ll sort something out.”

With his announcement done, the zillan left in a huff. Clearly he’d not wanted that outcome, even if it had been planned for.

The two new Captains stood in silence before they looked at each other. “So,” Spiral started, hesitant. “Is th’glitter doin’... anything?” He pointed at his skull, afraid to look in the mirror.

Adharia glanced at what was obviously the wound, and winced. “Um. Yes. Just… give it a day or so? Won’t even be able to tell the difference?” She smiled, awkward, but her eyes kept drifting toward the site of the injury. “Maybe we should get you a hat. Something big, but loose. With a feather in it?”

Spiral leveled a glare at her.

“You’re right, I’m being unreasonable.” She held up two fingers and smiled. “Two feathers.”

“That be more appropriate, aye.”

\--

After the photo shoot, the five Captains had a chance to socialize and talk to each other. Victorious in the Demolitions trial was a talmi woman -- Jigsaw Forte. She seemed to just be a young woman, unsuited to killing and the situations which went with it. But she had keen eyes, and keener insight. Her fur was yellow with gold stripes, her hair was deep chocolate brown -- all meaningful colors. Yellow for the sun, gold for prosperity, and brown for stability. She was a musician -- and she won by using her enemy’s rage against him.

Spiral praised her on her masterful manipulation, she looked at him like he’d grown an additional head.

The Sniper Captain was Jason Spades -- a human war hero from the planet Fenirel. He was smug, chock full of metal piercings at different places on his body, and took the peculiar path of the goatee facial hair. Personality wise, he seemed like a jackass who needed attention because he’d never gotten it from his parents. More baggage than an interplanetary flight.

The Scout Captain was the oldest of the bunch -- Silk of the Solar Winds, who answered to his nickname White Noise. An anyr hacker who had hacked into the life support for a space station allegedly under orders, and killed forty-two people. Anyr were best understood as horses with parrot feet who had the option to stand upright. But if anyone said that to them, the offending party would find themselves slammed by a one-ton sophont. White Noise had aged well into a solid white coat of fur and blue hair. And despite a short temper, he seemed perfectly reasonable. Bit of a dim view of pirates, but no one was perfect.

They were allowed to dress themselves like civilians, for Jigsaw, Jason, and Aharia, that was a return to normalcy. For White and Spiral, it was a harder transition.

The volunteers had left long before Spiral and White were done getting ready. White Noise had opted for traditional anyr, close-fitting trousers of bright blue, with a darker shirt hemmed in goldenrod. Anyr feet didn’t allow for standard shoes or gloves. Spiral, in turn opted for clothes traditional to Tetorca. High waisted loose trousers of lucky black, a shirt of sneaky purple to go with his fur, a long coat of plankton-season ocean green, a loose headwrap with two feathers tucked in facing downward, and a shoulder pad large as his head to show his faction. He didn’t bother with boots -- he wanted his claws to clack against the metal floor to agitate the ‘civilized people’. Even as a prisoner, he was still a pirate.

The two of them stood there, looked at who they were without the orange jumpsuit, and felt a mutual sense of displacement.

“I look at this person,” Spiral muttered, “and he be a stranger to me. Some distant memory. Ye must feel it more keenly.”

White Noise snuffed, and stiffly turned away. “So what if I do? What does it change?”

Spiral looked at himself up and down. He’d spent so long in unlucky orange, that he missed it somewhat. “I’d say it be more a reflection of how we been changed.”

When had he become more used to the stark light of LEDs and neon than the stars, and Vasci’s pale relflection on the waves? Why did he look the part of a sailor, but he couldn’t even remember the sound of waves against a hull? He felt like an imposter in his own body -- and he’d only been imprisoned for four years. White Noise had been a prisoner for more than forty.

“No matter what happens, it’s still us.” White Noise bitterly muttered and left the room on all fours. “It was us when we did the crime, its us when we did the time, and us when we come out after.”

Spiral remained transfixed with his reflection a bit longer before he left too. Whatever he saw in the mirror, it was still him. He would have to live with that, until he grew accustomed to it all over again.

\---

**Glossary** : Setting-specific words and phrases will be explained as they appear in the story! If I miss a word, please let me know so that I can edit it in!

  * Glitter: Ubiquitous nanomachines present in most sophont’s bloodstreams to aid the immune system, accelerate healing, extend lifespan, and improve cognition. Additional or specialized glitter can be added when injured to help treat injuries.
  * Levriki: A sophont species averaging two meters tall with fur that tends to be on the blue-side of the spectrum, visually similar to raccoons. Has three eyes, and long, bushy tails. Comprises the majority of the Tetorcan population. They have retractable claws on their hands and feet.
  * Kendril: A sophont species averaging under two meters tall, evolved from snakes. They have scaly skin, four arms that end in clawed fingers, four eyes, and split lower jaws. Between two and eight snake-like secondary heads grow off from their true head like tentacles, these heads are capable of independent thought and conversation. 
  * Zillan: A sophont species averaging around two meters tall. They resemble and have many of the abilities of humanoid crocodiles, being semi-aquatic, having thick rudder tails, mighty jaws, and thick armor-like skin. Beware their bite.
  * Celeste: An taxonomy nightmare. The majority of extant Celeste are hybrids of two or more sophont races, with incredible spiritual power which manifests bodily as large backwings. They have a wide array of powers, and an inflated ego to go with them. The stronger the soul, the more wings they have. Their unique classification requires capitalization.
  * Touched: A possible outcome of a Celeste having children. Touched are a sub-set of Celeste, in that they are capable of producing Celeste offspring and have similar powers. However they lack the large backwings of the Celeste. Instead they have a pair of wings arranged somewhere on their body. As with Celeste, they are capitalized.
  * Talmi: A sophont race averaging around one hundred twenty-one centimeters tall. They combine feline and rodent traits in their appearance -- short fur that tends to mimic domestic cats in pattern, thin tails that end in a puff of fur, large ears, marsupial pouches at the waist, musculature optimized for running/dodging/jumping. 
  * Anyr: A sophont race averaging around two and a half meters tall when bipedal. They are semi-quadrupedal, in that their hands/feet can easily shift between roles as they are similar to a parrot’s. They have large ears and a skull structure similar to a horse.
  * Celigo: Once called Ziligo, the zillan homeworld. It was conquered by the Celeste, and now serves as their capital.
  * Vasci: A technologically advanced planet, known mostly for its moon -- Tetorca.
  * Tetorca: The terraformed moon of Vasci. The terraforming was shoddily done, resulting in Tetorca being flooded. It was repurposed into a low-tech resort where the locals where made to live in a massive age-of-sail drama which guests could participate in. Owned by the Wild-E entertainment company, it is currently in crisis.
  * Star Org: An interstellar organization which offers PMC services, associated with the Church of the Endless.




	2. First Mate

\---

**Chapter 2: First Mate.**

The five of them were meant to be Executioners. They had the authority to straight up murder any of the other contestants within narrow guidelines. Spiral examined the guidelines and found them to be thoroughly meaningless -- the title only existed to seem important for the public, while in actuality the showrunners needed to sign off on all kills. A fair position to take, he supposed.

On his way to the meeting area, Spiral passed Jigsaw and Adharia chatting to each other -- he didn’t interrupt, the conversation didn’t involve him. Closer to the room, he encountered the main producer for the show -- Cypress Vaeo. Damien’s sister-cousin -- Spiral made no assumptions, he didn’t bring it up in conversation, there was literally no way to broach the topic of clarification that didn’t result in him being punched -- she was a sterling zillan, taller than Damien with a head of loose brown curls and dressed in a khaki brown two-piece fringed dress. A young lady in the transition to being a woman -- all she needed was someone to be dead because of her, and she’d make the grade.

She greeted him with an annoyed expression which she hid quickly with a smile. “Spiral! Good to see the head wound cleared up!”

“Aye,” he replied as if he hadn’t seen the first face, “all should be well within the day.” He glanced in the room and saw the lights out -- Jason and White Noise were inside already, but they acted like they were unhindered by the darkness. A clever use of airborne glitter, perhaps. He glanced around and saw the walls lined with those who had lost their trials -- chained to the wall by their arms and legs, arms high above their heads. The average person wouldn’t have been able to make out finer details, but Spiral had been upgraded while at college. “You want to give me the speech, or wait for the ladies so you don’t have to do it again?”

Cypress’s smile became slightly brittle. “You know what’s in there?”

“Didn’t me dossier list th’greater range of visible light I can make use of?” He arched two of his eyebrows. “Or did yer kinsman not share it?”

“Yes, but… nevermind. We’ll have to adjust our lighting to account for your stellar vision going forward.” Cypress gestured toward the darkened door. “We want you to create a team for the games. Train them up, take down the competition, and survive the game. Pursuant to that, you’ll be picking your lieutenant today.”

“I was wondering why Jason be comparin’ th’chest sizes of Dr. Archanis and Ms. Quinn, that be a reasonable answer.”

Cypress sighed and ran her hand down her long face. “Please tell me he isn’t getting handsy….”

“He be keepin’ his hands to himself. For now.”

“Everything in there is being recorded for the show, so you know. I need to get the editing team ready to get rid of Mr. Spades being… himself.”

“I’ll be sure to keep me hands to meself, Miss Vaeo,” Spiral smiled and walked through the field of artificial darkness. Immediately to the left of the door was Slick with his prison uniform altered. The guy had cut the front open so his chest was exposed all the way down to his pouch line. Spiral traced the path, looked at Slick, and looked away. “An excellent show, Don Giovanni.”

“Um, well, I kinda expected Jigsaw to be first throught the -- “ Slick started to explain himself before he paused. “What did you call me?”

“Your title,” Spiral said ominously and walked off. There were others to see -- even if Slick would be a _really good_ lucky charm. Luck only went so far, he needed skills. Slick’s placement in the sniper category would have been a nice compliment, but his knowledge of organized crime would probably be his main contribution. There were others to consider.

White Noise stayed near the front of the room, looking at the Celeste Arikos of Nile -- a mass-murdering cultist and rapist hybrid of human and tiger. The only reason Arikos wasn’t dead was due to diplomatic immunity, which he still had. A useful thing. Except Arikos was a _Celeste_. Arrogant and powerful.

Jason kept looking at the only two human women, sending an implicit racist and misogynist message. It spoke poorly of the man, but his loss would be everyone else’s gain.

Spiral examined the not obvious options to pick -- he’d read everyone’s files, but he wanted to talk to them. “London,” he exclaimed with enthusiasm for the camera’s sake. “Ye look _unwell_! Been getting enough rest?”

The person he spoke to was London Flood, an aedoah. A noseless green-skinned bipedal species noteworthy for their antennae and tails which ended in cup-like apertures. London at that moment looked like he’d just gotten out of medical himself, with how he shifted and the hints of bandages under his jumpsuit. The scout trial had been rough on him. London scowled at Spiral. “I’m fine. How’s your head looking?”

“Great, should be fixed up in no time at all!” Spiral put his hands on his hips and considered London. “Have to say, from looking at yer file I be feelin’ a strange kinship with ye.” Spiral’s smile became wicked. “We both really hate them corporations which think themselves invincible, aye?”

London’s scowl deepened. “Yeah. But I killed the board of the one that ruined my people’s lives. You took it out on your own world, made it unsafe.” The two terrorists regarded each other, London with contempt and Spiral with amusement. “I fought back, you lashed out. If you’re looking at me for the Lieutenant spot on your team -- hard pass, chucklefuck.”

“Thank ye for giving a straightforward answer,” Spiral replied with a small bow. He stepped aside to talk to the next figure. The vidian, Copper ‘Zodiac’ Miles. Vidians were serpentine in body structure -- semi-quadrupedal with features like Terth’s eastern dragons. Zodiac had scales of sea green with darker green hair and short wood-like antlers, given his limb’s placements he seemed to be genuinely uncomfortable. “Zodiac, a bit stiff?”

“Eh, just need a hot shower after this,” the chipper dragon commented. “I’ve had worse.”

“Good man, good attitude.” Spiral reflected on what he’d read about Zodiac in his file, and crossed his arms. “If Jason weren’t as dumb as brick hammers, he’d be pickin’ you fer his team.”

Zodiac shrugged, and Spiral saw the vidian’s tail twitch to indicate suppressed pain. “Eh, he knows what he wants in a lieutenant.” The two of them glanced over when Slick started shouting. Adharia and Jigsaw had entered the room -- Jigsaw had seen the mobster’s bid, and it didn’t work as he’d wanted. “Ooh, and he clearly doesn’t know what the ladies like.”

“He still hasn’t adapted to being in a powerless position.” Spiral rolled his middle eye. “Which be fine, not all can do that. Shame it makes him so desperate.”

“ **Liar!** ”

Jason suddenly shouted just as a cacophonous ‘slap’ echoed through the room. Spiral whirled around to see Jason standing before Dr. Daisy Archanis, who was in the midst of recovering from the blow. Dr. Archanis was a famous inventor and roboticist, she was a woman in her fifties who allegedly was one of the Galaxy Scouts. And she was also missing a leg due to the nature of her arrest. Spiral didn’t have a lot of qualms, being a pirate, but he didn’t attack those who couldn’t fight back at all.

“Oh yeah, echo….” Jason muttered to himself as he realized every woman in the room had turned to look at him in shock. Jigsaw went so far as to look at Jason with malevolent eyes akin to the dead inside -- were she a human, Spiral would have guessed her to be a vampire. But only humans could be vampires, which could turn off their black and red eyes. At least, that was the prevailing theory.

Spiral glanced at the vampire in the cast, Qin’Xu. A human of Chinese descent with a shaved head save for a ridiculously long ponytail. A skilled physician, powerful, and an assassin. He had eyes only for Jigsaw for a moment before he caught Spiral staring.

Something was up -- and Spiral wanted to get out ahead of it. Step one was to get everyone’s attention off Jigsaw so that it could be edited out from the broadcast. If what he thought he’d seen was what he’d actually seen, things would get _ugly_. So he took the obvious opening Jason provided and played a role.

“Ye thinkin’ it’s fine and dandy to smack around folks what can’t fight back, do ye?” Spiral stormed over to Jason with sudden rage. His claws extended from both hands, he made his greater height and mass a more visible threat to the Fenirel Skydancer. “Let’s see how yer face takes to bein’ slap’t like that, eh?”

“Huh?” Jason didn’t realize he was in danger until Spiral smacked him open-palm with a clawed hand, and tore four lines across his face diagonally. “ **Augh!** ” He shouted and clutched at his face as blood oozed out around his fingers. “My eye! You hit my fucking eye!”

“Not so fun when it’s _ye_ gettin’ smacked is it?!” Spiral reared back and kicked at the human while he reeled from the attack. Temporarily blinded with pain and blood, Jason hit the ground without much fuss. While Spiral had gotten the camera’s attention, Jigsaw seemed to have progressed into a meltdown. Genuine or another ruse, Spiral didn’t know but at least the Endless wouldn’t have cause to get involved. Yet.

“Spiral,” Cypress sighed and pinched between her eyes as she approached. “Much as I love to see violence on camera -- the point of this event is to pick your lieutenant, _not_ to maim your fellow executioners.”

“Fool boy has borderline illegal glitter,” Spiral snapped back, “he’ll be right as rain in a beat. Brought it on himself.”

“Not even _remotely_ the point.”

“Nay, it be entirely th’point.” Spiral refused to back down from Cypress’ glare. “These folks be criminals, but they still be people. Still have rights. Still have basic dignity what ought be repsected. Iffin trash like _this_ ,” he gestured at Jason, “be smackin’ em around, it be sendin’ th’wrong message.”

“Ah, yes.” Cypress all but snarled. “The eco-terrorist claiming the moral high ground. A bold strategy.”

“Ye’d be surprised how often it works.” Spiral narrowed his eyes, and felt the time for his act had passed. “Fine, won’t be givin’ what Jason deserves until th’next episode. Where I be sure he’ll do somethin’ to deserve it.”

“Good. Everyone, back to picking your lieutenants. Jason, get back to it when your glitter regenerates your face.”

When the human did get well enough to stand again, he had daggers for Spiral. A perfectly natural reaction, Spiral had just mauled him under false pretenses. The human might even get some scars worth telling stories about out of the deal. Jason may have been incompetent in decision making, but he was still a sniper -- the reason Spiral had gone after his eye -- so Spiral would need to watch his positioning in future episodes.

The best way to fight a sniper was with another sniper, in Spiral’s experience. And he could already see Adharia closing in on Slick, that left two snipers left to pick -- Charity and Xanatos. Charity was an artist -- a long-ranged assassin who killed for inscrutable reasons. She gave too similar a vibe to Geisha’s ‘kill for the art’ modus operandi for Spiral’s liking.

Xanatos wasn’t a terrible pick. A Star Org cadet, officer in training. A kaydin, a vaguely canine bipedal species noted for their keratin horns which grew from the center of their skull, and for their massive fluted-edged ears -- one of which Xanatos lacked. Xanatos was a sullen creature, Spiral could tell that from the way he had a scowl in literally every context they’d seen each other. With brown fur and brown hair, his only noteworthy trait besides the ear were his eyes. Bright magenta -- oh, the difficult life Xanatos must have lived.

He’d do splendidly.

Spiral approached him and looked him over. Taller than most, but shorter than Spiral or White Noise, lithe in build. Not bad. “You volunteered for this, didn’t you?”

Xanatos’ scowl deepened. “Here to laugh?”

“Perish th’thought -- I couldn’t help but notice that Jason be particularly… poor at decision makin’.” Spiral glanced down the room to see where the others looked like they were picking their lieutenants. “What caused him to win, an’ ye to lose?”

Somehow, someway, Xanatos’ scowl deepened even more. “Luck, is all.”

“‘Well, with a title made famous for gamblin’, he seems a bit of a lucky guy.” Spiral turned back to Xanatos with a small smile, and crossed his arms. “I reckon he be wantin’ to put a bullet in me pretty head now. And I reckon ye be wantin’ to put one in his?”

Xanatos’ eyes drifted toward the human ace pilot and then back to Spiral. He nodded.

“A good enough start to a business relationship. Welcome aboard, Mr. Wylde.” Spiral waited a second before the arm and leg shackles which held Xanatos snapped open by remote command. 

The kaydin stepped forward, a free man again, and stretched his arms and legs now that they were free.

Spiral allowed this, and offered his hand for shaking. He was left waiting an uncomfortably long time before it became clear Xanatos really was that sour a person. He retracted his hand. “Fine. We can start professionally, iff’n that be yer preference.”

“I’ll be a lot nicer when you let me get my guns back,” the kaydin muttered. “Now c’mon, I want out of this jumpsuit. I hate orange.”

\---

**Glossary:**   
  


  * Kaydin: A species of bipedal anthropomorphic canines with large, fluted-edged ears and a spiraled keratin horn at the center of their foreheads. Their fur tends to be earth-tones.
  * Vidian: A species of demi-quadrupedal serpentine dragon-like sophonts. Scaly with hair that grows around their head, and down their spines. Often they have a row of pearl-white bones growing from their nose to their hairline. Females of the species grow facial hair.
  * Aedoah: A species of bipedal humanoids with green or blue skin, similarly colored hair, with two fingers and a thumb on each hand. They have antennae and a short hairless tail that all end in cup-like apertures. Notably lacks a nose or the capacity to smell.




	3. Haul together

\---

**Chapter 3: Haul together.**

Xanatos couldn’t believe Jason had won. Won through sheer dumb luck, obviously! Xanatos had managed to take out Slick with one shot, then almost landed the hit on Jason when the human shot at Charity. If Xanatos hadn’t been blinded with dirt in his eyes, he could have landed the shot. That’s what he kept telling himself -- Jason won by luck, there was dirt in his eyes, he could’ve been a captain if things had been different.

Maybe if he told himself enough, it would become true.

At least he wasn’t in the player’s mob, Xanatos told himself as he walked behind his captain. A heathen, but someone who could be persuaded if he played his cards right. Being a lieutenant wasn’t the best situation, but it was better than being treated like a common criminal. Being in a cell was better than rehab, but it brought back bad memories.

“Which guns do ye favor?” Spiral asked him, with one ear flicked backward to hear Xanatos’ response.

“Hmph. Rifles, obviously. I was in the sniper division, wasn’t I?” Xanatos huffed and crossed his arms.

“Aye, but any sniper can work with rifles. It be possible to snipe with any gun, iffin ye know the maths enough. I’ll see what can be done to get one in yer hands.” Spiral’s ear returned to face forward.

Xanatos ‘hmphed’ and rolled his eyes. Like the terrorist would really get him a gun.

Shortly after, they came to another room filled with raised platforms with hoops above them from which curtains hung. Near a lecturn where a mobile control panel was placed was another zilan, probably related to the showrunners or something. He looked a lot like Vince, the show’s Director. Black hair, gold eyes, bit of an overbite -- the differences were that Vince had pointy, styled hair, while the new guy had his in a long but simple braid.

“Gentleman,” the new face greeted. “Good to see you prompt and professional.” He glanced at Xanatos. “Mostly. If the two of you could strip down after entering one of the curtain sets -- “

“Wait, what?” Xanatos barked, his one ear lowered in sudden shock. He looked to Spiral, and expected to be backed up. Instead he saw the triclops slip his jacket off his shoulders as he stepped into the curtains. “You’re going along with this?”

“I be comfortable in me fur, Mr. Wylde,” the eco-terrorist said from behind the curtains. “It be good for th’cameras, ye might as well learn ta enjoy it.”

The zilan rolled his eyes and gestured to the curtains. “It’s a scanner.” He explained it like he had to break it down for fourth-graders. “It scans you. So we can make armor. Armor to help you not die. Sound good?”

Xanatos crossed his arms and stomped into the curtain. He kept his eyes firmly on the upper ring of the curtains rather than catch a glimpse of Spiral. Shame that Spiral didn’t offer the same courtesy. The eco-terrorist had the gall to make  _ comments _ when Xanatos started stripping.

“Fer a sniper, yer build be well-rounded. Ye’d clearly be best with light weapons, but a shotgun’s recoil wouldn’t break ya arm.”

“I don’t like spread weapons,” Xanatos snarled. “At that range, I’d rather use a blade. With a shotgun, you’re more likely to do non-lethal damage with modern armor. Shotguns are only good when you’re going after people who can’t fight back.” When down to just his fur, he crossed his arms again and looked up at the ceiling with no intention to look elsewhere. There was little room in the scanner as they seemed awfully small. By complete happenstance, the scanner required them to move through a sequence of poses and it so happened that Xanatos couldn’t avoid an eyeful.

He would deny how long it took him to tear his eyes away until he died, and after he caught Spiral’s smirk he started to deny it to himself. He hadn’t seen anything. He had done as the scanner required. He didn’t see anything, and thus he didn’t feel anything, shut up.

He didn’t have to look at Spiral’s smirk for long -- a black tarp-like object was tossed over the top ring of the curtain and blocked out his vision. “The hell’s this?” He grunted and pulled it off his head. Thankfully his horn didn’t catch on anything, as it turned out to be a skin-suit of some sort.

“This’n be our armor, be my guess,” Spiral commented as he slipped the outfit on.

Xanatos did the same, and glanced only at Spiral to see what awful thing he was going to wear on camera. For only that reason. Shut up. Their ‘armor’ was primarily black with orange as the accent color -- in the shape of crescents which alternated their orientation. A curved line with spikes. Orange disks at the hips, shoulders, and on the ankles of the boots held the Last Resort logo within.

While they dressed there was an argument outside about something -- the taur princess and the zilan had a bit of a tiff regarding foreign objects in the scanner. “What in the pit are they arguing about,” Xanatos muttered.

“Th’princess be havin’ a trinket she dinnae wish to be parted from,” Spiral replied. “I need ta be gettin’ ye some glitter fer the ear, yer hearin’ be significantly reduced.”

Xanatos wanted to shout ‘no shit’, but that might lead to a talk about the ear. Or to the situation which caused it. He’d been advised to clam up when it was mentioned, lest he slip up. Evidently some of his body language had conveyed that, for Spiral took the time to give him a full three-eyed stare.

“We  _ will _ be talkin’ ‘bout that eventually, Mr. Wylde. But not today.” He glanced at the ‘mutineer’s ear’. “From th’ scorch marks, I be of a mind that it be painful.”

“...Just a dull ache, really.” Xanatos huffed. “I can tough it out.”

Spiral’s middle eyebrow arched. “Ye don’t be thinkin’ the pain might be distractin’ ye, and why ye lost?”

“It was luck, nothing more.” Xanatos finished getting dressed and waited for Spiral to do the same. He didn’t want to stay in the too-small scanner longer than necessary, so he threw the curtain aside and quickly made his escape.

“Ah,” the zilan said as he looked up. For some reason Slick was on the floor and the princess was glaring at their tailor. Questions for later. “Do they fit well? I had some difficulty with the scanner since you hopped into the same one as Spiral….”

Xanatos’ good ear twitched. “What?” Then he noticed that the scanners around the room were spaced into pairs. There had been a second scanner he could have hopped into, but he didn’t even notice. Immediately his face lit up cherry red as he realized how this had looked to Spiral, the tailor, and the cameras. “Whydidn’tyoutellmeIwassupposedto--” The beginning of his tirade through clenched teeth was cut off with a pat on his shoulder.

Spiral stepped past Xanatos and assumed a pseudo-military pose with his arms folded behind his back. “Th’armor be fitted well. It be non-traditional, but I be approvin’ of the colors.” He bowed his head at their audience. “Highness, Don Giovanni.”

The princess waved, while Slick was focused on a bauble he held in his hands. Odd.

Xanatos’ eyes were directed downward only because Spiral’s tail swayed and the motion caught his eye. Shut up.

“A bit mildly concerned,” Spiral said and shook one of his feet, “that th’boots be separate, bein’ as they have battery packs on them. Iffin’ there be an instruction manuel?”

“All the Captains will be informed of the general functions of the armor later,” the zilan said with a practiced disinterest. “Have you considered a team name?”

Spiral nodded. “Yer kinswoman had the right of it, we would have a notion of our name after we speak to our first mates.” The raccoon-man glanced back at Xanatos and smirked.

Was his face still red? Had Spiral gotten  _ ideas _ of how this would go given Xanatos’ fuckup? Did he intend to humiliate Xanatos on camera by not correcting him? These thoughts and more swam through the kaydin’s head.

The Captain turned back to the tailor, and their audience. “We be the members of  **Team Navis** , avast!”

\--

The Last Res0rt space station had a massive station-city, Wonder, to entertain the live studio audience for the show, and to set up environments for possible challenges. Apart from the station-city was the prison complex where the show was to be filmed, and the contestants housed. A triple-max security setup, only improved by the low prisoner occupancy rate. Executioners and their lieutenants had special suites that only rated double-max in their security, on account of luxury. Six executioners had been planned for, and five occupied their special suites.

Until such time as a six Executioner joined the roster, room six had been modified to serve as a meeting place for members of different teams to talk -- with the implication that it would be Captains only.

That was the precedent set when Spiral requested a meeting with the Captain of the newly minted Teams Andromeda and Gemini -- Jigsaw and Aharia respectively. What, in their suites, was the main bedroom had been defaulted to a meeting room with couches, synthetic plants, and a round table with seats. At least they had the decency to provide a vending machine for drinks.

Spiral got himself a gr-apple soda, while Jigsaw and Adharia drank their choices at the table. “Thank ye muchly for meetin’ with me,” he said as he sat down. “All be well wit’ ye lieutenants?”

“Don’t mean to be rude,” Jigsaw said with an arched brow. “But can we skip the smalltalk? I have things I need to do today.”

“I too would like to get to the meat of the issue,” Adharia commented and lifted her drink up for a swig. “Mmm, fizzy.”

“A fair point.” Spiral popped the lid on his soda and drank a bit before he spoke again. “I be wishin’ to negotiate terms of alliance wit’ ye.”

Eyebrows were raised, and then cast at the cameras.

“Are we allowed to do that?” Jigsaw directly asked the cameras, then waved her hand when she didn’t get a response. “Hello? Can’t you talk to us through the station intercom?”

“In entertainment such as this,” Spiral spoke with a somber tone, “alliances be how ye last through the tough times.”

“Yeah, I know, I’ve watched Survivor before.” Jigsaw frowned and kept her eyes on the floating bird-like camera. “But I don’t know if they’re in the rules. But apparently no one in the camera room wants to clarify.”

“I didn’t see anything prohibiting them when I applied,” Adharia added. “An alliance between the three of us would effectively put the other teams on the outs -- they’d have to curry favor with the player’s mob to get an edge.”

“And the mob be mighty prickly at the moment.” Spiral looked at each of the Captains in turn. “So? Shall we be talkin’ terms?” When no opposition was announced, the levriki leaned forward and interlocked his fingers. “A basic provision would be not a one of us vote for th’others when prompted. Same be for our lieutenants. Aye?”

He was met with nods of agreement. “You and Daisy both have Jason gunning for you,” Jigsaw commented. “So we could watch each other’s back when he’s in a mood.”

“Aye. An’ his lieutenant willnae be so easily manipulated a second time.”

Jason had been the last Captain to pick, delayed on account of levriki claws being introduced to his eye. None of them had been there to see it happen live, but the rumor was that Cypress had brow-beaten him into taking the Celeste hybrid Arikos on as his lieutenant. Team Corvus lacked teamwork, but they made up for it in being dangerous.

“I don’t have any outstanding grudges with any of the other teams,” Adharia said, somewhat put out. “But Slick did warn me about Geisha. Stuff that wasn’t in his file.”

“Mayhap we keep our eyes on th’pervert, aye?” Spiral unfolded his hands to drink his soda. His tone, when he spoke again, was somber. “I know how it be, for them to look at ye and see somethin’ lesser’n’ them. Be willin’ to talk, one leader ta another, anytime.”

“I think they’re more afraid of me than anything,” Adharia said with a shrug. “My planet didn’t… respond well to the first contact teams.” She sipped her drink, and arched her eyebrow. “Didn’t you graduate from a school of theirs somewhere?”

“Yeah, no,” Jigsaw said with half-lidded eyes. “Even if he wasn’t an eco-terrorist, people would take one look at ‘Tetorca’ on his file and assume he wouldn’t know how to use a shower.” She sipped her own drink and glanced at Spiral before she spoke to Adharia. “He seems to think I’m a master manipulator, maybe I’ve got a knack for it…? I could help you, like, outside the show. Getting to know people, stuff like that.”

Adharia pointed at Jigsaw with a sly grin. “You  _ did _ win by playing Arikos’ strength against him.”

“Not on  _ purpose! _ ”

“Still... going out every so often, getting tips and tricks from someone who can read people would be nice.” She flicked her eyes toward Spiral. “But… what about your lieutenant? He’s not a prisoner, he can go off and leave the facility too. And he has a… mutineer’s ear, I think is the right term?”

“Yep.”

“Aye,” Spiral added.

“Then, why should we trust him?” Adharia gestured with her drink at Spiral. “Do  _ you _ trust him?”

“He be of the Star Org.” Spiral steepled his fingers. “His file dinnae say how he got th’ear, just that he have a history of abuse from his fellows. I can work on him, provide positive feedback, and see where it be goin’ from there. I dun think he be too far gone.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Spiral shrugged. “Then let me be plain speakin’. His skills be useful, his loyalty can be hardened, but I dinnae if I trust him whole-heartedly. Given his performance at our fitting I be reasonably certain I could…,” Spiral smirked, “leash him effectively.”

“...I get the feeling I’m missing some context here,” Jigsaw commented after Adharia giggled. “And I’m not sure if I want it.”

“Fair. So, be the terms of the arrangement acceptable fer all parties?” Nods were shared between the three Captains. “Then we be haulin’ together.”

\--

Designing personal quarters hadn’t been a hobby Spiral had cultivated much prior to being granted access to a fabricator and told to go wild. His ship had been laden with tradition that went back sixty captains -- each added a small touch that layered on the past to create the  _ Mermaid’s Moon _ ’s personality. And then he was either in college, or in prison. Neither of which were widely accepting of personal expression.

As Tetorca had no concept of minimalism, he went ahead and decorated as if he were creating a bungalow from the pirate’s moon. Hammock beds, nautical accessories, ‘purely decorative’ weapons, a couple palm frond displays, and other accoutrements -- mission accomplished.

“Was coating the floor in sand,” Xanatos snarled as he dropped his duffel bag next to the smaller hammock clearly meant for him, “really necessary?”

“It be only in this room,” the Captain replied with a smirk, “to soften the fall when we fall outta th’hammocks.” A lie Xanatos wouldn’t care to dig into. Spiral had gone without the feel of sand under his feet for too long. Not as nice as wood -- but

“You’re expecting us to fall out of the hammocks?” Xanatos’ good ear twitched. “Wait, didn’t you sleep in these on the regular?”

“Nay.” Spiral looked at options for lighting to find one which fit his theme. “The hammocks be fer crew lower’n an officer. I be out of practice.”

“Oh.” Xanatos was dressed in a mostly-black outfit, boots, trousers, and a shirt with attached shoulderpads. When Spiral glanced at his lieutenant’s duffel bag with his third eye, he saw more of the same. The man had little personality of his own. “Going to get sand all over the suite like this, though.”

“Particulate screens exist fer a reason, Mr. Wylde. As do catalogues of fashionable clothes.” Spiral adjusted the cloth wrap he covered his head injury with, sporting two feathers from Adharia. “Mayhap ye should look into ‘em?”

Xanatos tried to sit down on his hammock and promptly landed in the sand. “Ack.” He glared at the sleeping arrangement and sighed. “What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“They dinnae reflect ye. Black is lucky, but minimalism be not. Ye be on people’s screen at home now, best be gettin’ a distinctive style.”

Xanatos scowled. “I like black.”

“I’m flattered, but here.” Spiral passed the kaydin a tablet. “I programmed yer measurments into th’search filter, find some things what catch yer fancy. Th’show be payin’ fer it.”

Xanatos processed what Spiral had said and sputtered while the levriki departed to the fabricator room.

“They already have merch for the teams?!” Xanatos shouted from the other room. “And what’s this flag with our team, Andromeda, and Gemini all mixed together?”

“They be havin’ designs made up for er’ry possible team, Mr. Wylde. Do grab somethin’ of ours, and the alliance merch. I recommend bandanas and smallclothes -- for the promotional material.” Spiral took the light fixtures from the fabricator and noted a new task had appeared in the queue. “Glad ye took me advice!”

Xanatos wildly began to sputter. “Ididn’tknowitwouldfabricateitrightnowthey’resupposedtomailityoushouldhavetoldme -- “

“Why are ye so flustered, Mr. Wylde?” Spiral returned to the main room to hang up the lamps he’d made. “Ye be a grown man, I not be one to judge.” He looked at the red-faced kaydin and sighed. “I will refrain from any future comments. Winnae happen again.”

Still red in the face, Xanatos narrowed his eyes. “Well… good!”

“And, as promised, I be submitin’ a request to have a rifle brought to ye.” Spiral finished his lighting work and tapped the fixture to power it up. “Nice -- the flickerin’ be just like a flame.”

Xanatos arched his brow as he looked away from the tablet. “Um. Doesn’t that require running wires through it, or something?”

“Ah, tis a trick I be learned in, from college. All th’wirin’ be done by the fabricator during assembly.”

“That’s… really advanced use of nanoassemblers.” Xanatos set the tablet on his lap and looked at Spiral confused. “What’s your degree in?”

“Oh, just an oft-neglected glitter degree. I be more specialized now, on account of th’prison time.” Spiral walked to his hammock and failed to get in correctly. He ended up in the sand, just like Xanatos had. “Maybe a traditional bed be more… sensible.”

“Maybe a water bed?”

“There’s an idea, Mr. Wylde!”


End file.
